|Taken at Permata Swimming Club 10.06am|
I had not been training since last year's MSSPP which was on Feb 10'.
Exactly one year from now...
I questioned myself. 'Why do I still bother to join when I had stop training for such a long time??'
To tell you the truth. It was frightening to go back this world. It felt new to me after such a long time being apart from it.
Am I still even qualified to call myself a swimmer?
Will I embarrass myself out there?
Will people still remember me?
To tell you the truth.
I was afraid to go back to CSC because I felt like I had abandon it for such a long time.
I was afraid to see myself so lack of stamina compared to before.
I was afraid of this world which I once loved.
When I was in primary, I really loved swimming.
Hell, all ever wanted to do was to SWIM!
Study was boring, school was boring, so was the extra co-curriculum activities!
Swimming is a challenge for yourself to strive to be better than you were before.
That's why it never fails to keep me entertained!
I know many of you may not understand what I'm saying.
But...I guess this is what happen when you really loved something and you'll feel different about it compared to those who don't!
It may not show as I am not a very good swimmer but just an average one...
Coming back to this annual competition.
Seeing everyone trying their very best to earn the medal; to break their own best time.
It made remember what I once forgotten..
On the first day, I was terrified.
I really wanted to get a medal for it was 50m Backstroke.
But once the horn was blown, I was not as nervous as I was during the previous competitions that I joined.
I just told myself to do my very best.
After all, this IS my last year...
I even participated in 200m Freestyle which was on the 2nd day.
It was a challenge that I had to face as the last time I joined this event was roughly 2 years ago.
It made a scar in my memory...
At that time, I really thought that I would drawn...I won't be able to finish the race...it was a horrible experience.
And so, this year, I decided to join...to face what I once feared as it was my last chance to do so.
I may not have a medal nor a certificate to prove that I've won anything.
But I will still say that I am a winner.
|Saw this beautiful sky while waiting anxiously for my event.|
Winning isn't just about the number of medals you've earn or how many certificates you've earn.
It's about you achieving something you've never achieve before.
When you do that, you will have a feeling of content inside of you.
Some people may not understand that and they will think of you as a sore loser when you say so.
That means, they are not winners as they do not appreciate what they achieved.
You are who you are.
You know what you want.
So, even if you did not win anything, but you've achieved something, give yourself a pat at the shoulder.
You are a winner.
My mum was shocked that I did not get the last place in any of the events that I participated during MSSPP 11'.
I bet everyone thought that I would be.
After all, I had not been training since last year!
Results came out:
Backstroke - 4th (4/13ppl)
Freestyle - 5/6th (5or 6/7ppl)
I was happy with the results even though I didn't get anything in the end.
But I was happy with it.
They were shocked to hear that I had not been training since last year and still got 4th and not last place in the events.
I guess, I'm an achiever cause I'm very sure that I had achieved something to mark the end of my last year in MSSPP.
And so, farewell and thank you, MSSPP.
For letting me feel, how being a swimmer is like again.